June 15, 2004

Boys and wife left for Midland for the next several days. They will be back on Saturday afternoon, just in time for Father's Day. Very sad to see them go but honestly, it's kinda fun to have some alone time. Too bad the house will stay a wreck until about 2 hours before she shows up. Why do you think guys always ask their wives "Call me when you are on the road." It sounds like we are concerned and are going to time your trip so that we know when to call 911. But honestly it's just so we can make it into a sports reference and tell overselves when our "2 min warning" has begun. Only we make it a couple of hours instead. It's fun to clean house under pressure. There's some insight.

Went bowling on Sunday and saw one of my friends get 7 strikes in a row !! Wow - I thought I was watching a "perfect game" in the making !! It was wild to see and everyone was excited. Frankly, I didn't care what I bowled - I just couldn't wait for Darrell to get to his turn again. By the way, it was obvious I didn't care by the way I scored. One time, I got so bored with hitting nothing but one or two pins that I tried to have some fun spinning the ball down the lane. Only the time I tried, it went across to the lane next to us and landed in that gutter. Fortunately no one was bowling next to us. But I earned the nickname, Double Lane Donny by the end of the night !! Nice friends, huh!

I realized the other day that I was slowly losing my manhood. We had pulled up to a stop light on our way to lunch after church. I found myself doing hand motions to a kids praise CD with my 3 year old in the back seat. I'm sure the people next to me were questionning what I was doing and how incredibly silly I looked. Oh, and did I mention that my 3 yr old was in the back seat of our ... (gulp!)... mini-van !! That made it worse. At least if I'd been in a Hummer H2 I would have had some ounce of manhood in me. Later that day, I told my wife that I wanted to try and watch some Nascar on TV to help improve my manhood status. (By the way, I don't understand Nascar but it's loud and manly so that's why I chose that option) Then my wife reminded me that a real man can't watch Nascar doing the activity I was doing. I just so happened to be ... (gulp again!)... sewing some buttons that had come loose on my pants! Imagine that - NASCAR meets SEWING !! Wow - how incredibly un-manly is that.

So, I'm announcing today that with my wife and children gone for the next 4 days, I solemnly swear to do nothing that is not masculine. Tonight, I meeting a friend at the driving range. After we finish dinner at La Madelines ... just kidding !! After I finish the range, I'm going home to watch Game 5 of the NBA Playoffs. I don't really care who wins but it's manly. I might even pick up some pork rines and beer on the way home. I won't eat or drink them but I want witnesses to my manly events !!

Tomorrow after work I will attend our church service to help out with the Youth activities. They need good MEN like me around !! I might pop in the video arcade room just to see if I can rustle up a good game of Madden Football with a 12 year old !!

Thursday, my plan is to go to the batting cages either by myself or with another manly friend. I might even pick up a movie on the way home to help me close out the night. Probably Gladiator, Braveheart (seriously I might on this because I've never seen it) or some sports movie !! Might watch the Miracle Movie again because it's so cool.

Friday, well... that's the mother of all manly nights. I'm not exactly sure what I'll do so you'll have to tune in later to see what I ended up doing.

On Saturday, I will probably do some yard work around the house, get the oil changed in my car and probably watch some of the US Open (golf) on TV before the wife and kids come home. Oh, and I'll probably have to vacuum, dust and clean the kitchen once I get my "2 minute warning".

God bless you all,

SJ