The Rat Race

Ok, this has nothing to do with working hard and running around from place to place. It's actually a story about the rat living in my garage and our attempts (be it futile to this point) at catching him (or hims) !!

Once we realized we had the nasty critter(s), we started the progressive steps of annihilation. Let's start out the liberal way and not hurt the poor rat, but just catch him with one of those "sticky" rat traps. The kind that they can get their paws stuck on. Then you simply throw them out, trap and rat together. After our first night, I realized I was dealing with a sneaky rat. I woke up the next morning only to find his paw print (literally) in the sticky part with the cheese missing from the trap. I imagine him getting online and seeing how one of these works so he knows how to defeat it. It was weird. Especially the next day when he's taken the traps and dragged them to who knows where. Almost taunting us by taking with him.

So then we moved to the old fashioned (and violent I might add) method of the traditional mouse trap. Ever set one of these? I must admit that my anxiety levels rose dramatically trying to set this thing without it "going off" and chopping my fingers in two. Ok, that was a little dramatic but pretty close. One time it did go off and I violated many biblical commandments by the words that came out of my mouth. It wasn't pretty. Lord forgive me.

After setting the traps, we draped cheese over the traps. That will do it for sure. tsk tsk - my how I underestimate my new furry friend. The next morning, the traps were NOT even activated but the cheese was gone. How'd he do that? I took a stick just to test the trap and BANG!!!!! it went off and went flying across my garage. I must admit that my heart skipped a beat and I think I might have squealed although I'll go to my grave denying that. That is unless the mouse publishes his observation on his blog!

So, step 3 was re-setting the traps (another anxiety filled moment) and this time we put peanut butter on one side of the cheese and literally smushed the cheese onto the trap - somehow not setting it off. That will do it for sure.

My what a silly boy I am. The next morning, the traps have been released but no mouse!! WHAT??!!!?? How can this be? This little guy is lightning fast. Well, I let it sit for a couple of days and he's taken the traps off somewhere as his taunting continues. I'm about to put a white flag on the next trap and make him a little trophy if he wants it.

Next step: POISON !!! No, that doesn't mean I blast some 80's rock songs although that might drive him out. I mean the deadly stuff. I'm going to have to be careful with our 2 kids but I think we can do it. It's come to that so wish me luck. Oh, and Mickey, if you are reading this, kiss your family goodbye. It's doomsday for you. No trophy included.

God bless you all,

SJ