Saturday, January 21, 2006

Here's a recap of a conversation that took place today that I'd rather forget between Tyler, myself, Kendra and a neighbor who's probably in her 50's:

Donny: "Hey Tyler, come over here and pet the dogs that our neighbor has brought by."
Neighbor: "They're real sweet and they love lit'l boys".
Donny: "See Tyler, they are real sweet. See, watch how Daddy pets the dog."
Kendra: "See Tyler, the dogs are real sweet. See how Daddy is playing with them."
Tyler: "But I don't wanna. Bye bye dogs."
Donny: "Come on Tyler, you can come over."
Tyler: "Bye dogs."
Kendra: "oh, come on Tyler"
Neighbor: "They are real nice. They love little boys."
Donny: "That's good Tyler. Come on over a little closer. They won't hurt you. See? Yeah, that's it. Good job Tyler. Now be soft. There you go."
Neighbor: "So I see y'all are expecting again?"
Kendra: "Yes we are. Another boy. This will be our third."
Donny: "Tyler, come back. Where are you going? Nice dogs."
Neighbor: "That's great. I remember when I had my baby boy. I could wear my bikini underwear right up til the end."
Donny: (now thinking to myself) "What did she just say? Surely she didn't just say that."
Kendra: "Oh really."
Donny: "Tyler, come back and pet the dogs. Good job - that's it."
Neighbor: "The next baby we thought was another boy. But when she dropped there went wearing my regular panties anymore."
Donny: (to myself again) "Oh gosh, how do I get out of this awkward conversation!!!"
Neighbor: "For a long time we didn't know we were pregnant. But then I missed my cycle..."
Donny: (to myself again) "Iggeeee" (my Benin family will recognize that phrase) "Help me Lord!!"

Nothing like bonding with your neighbors!!

God bless you all,
SJ

8 Comments:

At 1:29 PM , Blogger Beth P said...

Donny, I don't see how you will be forgetting about it anytime soon, considering that you just posted it on WWW! I'm sure you will have plenty of "friends" who will continue bringing it to your attention. HA
I can just see your face and imagine your hand fanning it as fast as you can with an..."Oh, my!"
I'll make sure Darrell reads up on this post!! heehee!

 
At 3:21 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am laughing out loud!!! That is very very funny. Nothing like your neighbors talking about panties. I am still laughing.
Monica

 
At 2:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neighbor: "For a long time we didn't know we were pregnant. But then I missed my cycle..."
Donny: (to myself again) "Iggeeee" (my Benin family will recognize that phrase) "Help me Lord!!"

THE REST OF THE STORY . . .

Donny: all this talk of cycles and panties is making me hungry. (Nodding for Kendra to go into the house and look busy) Anyone for some pretzel sticks and chicken salad sandwiches?

Neighbor: But...uh...I wasn't done telling you about the time I was at McDonald's with my kids and I lost a chicken nugget in my bra.

Donny: What on earth did you do? (thinking to myself, "why did I ask her that?") Uh, Kendra!!! How's that chicken salad coming???

Neighbor: Well, it's just that easy to figure out how to rescue that little nugget in a public place...but the first thing I did was ... uh....Donny?...Donny?....where did you go? Hey!!! Why are running away like that? Come back here, I wasn't done yet!!! What about the sandwiches?!!! I mean ever since my last bikini waxing, I've been meaning to eat healthier. . . oh, HI! Good evening . . . out walking your dogs? Hey, are you friends with that Donny fella? He's real strange, just up and ran into his house for no reason yelling something about therapy for his kids...So you live around here? I have lived here for 10 years, ever since I decided that shaving my legs was an optional grooming requirement for us ladies...care to see?

. . . . and on and on and on . . .
Yiggeee (with a "Y") is right!!!
-Randy

 
At 2:34 PM , Blogger Kelly Vaughn said...

That was my comment above.
Forgot to click on Blogger.
-Randy

 
At 10:19 PM , Blogger Kendra said...

Donny's at least glad he "escaped" quickly enough to miss the "true" rest of the story, Randy, where she decided to tell me about how quickly her . . .uh . . .upper body . . expanded before she realized she was pregnant! Couldn't imagine why that new bra she had just bought suddenly didn't fit anymore!!! Another Yiggee!!

 
At 4:59 PM , Blogger Kelly Vaughn said...

Yiggee Miss Piggy!! (that's my Americanized version of the Aja expression of dismay)

Wow, she is really something!
-Randy

 
At 3:23 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Donny, as your "sainted" mother I have NO comment!

 
At 10:25 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

akward! Even for kendra I am sure! How did you keep from giggling?!oh my goodness that is something:)

 

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