Potty Humor

Ok, before you run away thinking this is some barely PG-13 teen movie plug, let me explain:

Kendra and I are in the battle of our lives! Yes, it's potty-training time!! For those with little ones I hope you can bring me hope and advice. We've read the books, searched the internet, talked and prayed with friends and each other. Yet, we're a little frustrated. Although we are in the spirit of the political season and "negative attacks" seem to be the norm, I don't want to spend this blog talking negatively about our son. So let me attack... the toilet!

I may invoke my "Wonder Boy" persona now to ask some serious questions. Please allow me a minute to enter the bathroom to change into my spandex, please!

Ok, it's Wonder Boy here and I'm on a mission to help Donny and Kendra. I've come up with some good questions already:

• Is potty training that hard because the toilet is not "inviting" enough? Maybe a toilet for kids should be more colorful and make funny noises instead of "inviting" funny noises by the kids!
• Whoever called this the "porcelin throne" must have been sick! Porcelin sounds too fancy and throne represents royalty. When you conjure up thoughts about a toilet, are you thinking "fancy royalty". I think not!
• How can a child "make messes" in his pants and not be the least concerned about it while playing his computer game? For Wonder Boy, the thought of just having to go makes me squirm uncomfortably in a meeting.
• Is the diaper an evil thing? Has the diaper put our children in mode of thinking that they can just go whenever they want!! Oh, the madness!!! Why aren't we potty-training our infants? Could it be a Pampers/Luvs/Huggies Conspiracy?

Ok, I must go now. Other questions to wonder about somewhere else... Donny back to you!!

Hey, thanks Wonder Boy! The world is not the same without you. As I close, I want to let you know that 2 ironic things happened recently that made me chuckle. On the day of my son's three (yes, count 'em three) "#2 accidents" within a 4 hour period, what was I doing on the same day? I was fixing our toilet. I thought it was fitting that I was surrounded by this all day long.

Lastly, I almost embarrassed myself yesterday. A co-worker was meeting with me at 3:00. Before the meeting, she said, "I'm going to run to the restroom real quick before we meet". I had to catch myself before I blurted out "Well, you just Run to the Potty! Hurry, Hurry!!" It was on the tip of my tongue and I'm so thankful that I had better judgment than to say that to her. Now if I can just get my son to do it!!!

God bless you all,

SJ